


Literally Just A Spykids AU

by Parspicle



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, Spykids au, spy AU, spykids, there's probably a lot more characters but whoops, why? because I have no self control, you read that right! its a spykids au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-13
Updated: 2019-08-04
Packaged: 2020-01-12 18:50:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 17,774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18452513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Parspicle/pseuds/Parspicle
Summary: Y'know Spykids? Yeah, its basically that but with Error, Ink, Gradient and Paperjam as the Cortezes.





	1. A Peaceful Day, Sorta.

It was a peaceful Saturday. Sorta. As peaceful as this household could get. Which is not peaceful in the slightest.

Ink kept misplacing his phone. Error and Gradient lost their glasses to the pits of the space between the side table and the bed for the second time this week. Both of them. Paperjam lost their scarf. Once again.

Yep, just another day.

Or, that’s what they all thought.

As Ink ran around the house, trying to look everywhere for anything and everything he’d misplaced. Which was a lot of things. In fact, he found (and lost) the pencil he had behind his ear three times. In the span of five minutes. Error had been trying to help him, of course, but it wasn’t working exactly.

Gradient and Paperjam, of course, found this endeavor hilarious. Watching their dads go back and forth was quite funny to the younger two.

“Oh, and Error, we need to work on that one art museum project- where did my pencil go?”

“Ink, my star, it’s behind your ear.”

“Oh!” He plucked it from its place, then started twirling it around his fingers. “Thank you!”

Error had just rolled his eyes, partially amused, partially feeling pity for his husband’s terrible memory.

No less than two minutes later did the short architect start chewing the eraser, getting distracted. He forgot where he placed it, once again.

“Where did-“

Before he got a response, Error walks over, takes the pencil from Ink’s mouth, and boops him on the nose with it, softly smiling. Ink takes the pencil back, laughing a bit.

“Ah- right! Thank you!”

Again, a little more than a minute later, he, while looking at his important documents, had leaned against the island counter in the kitchen and put his hand, with the pencil still clutched in it, on the granite. He came back to reality after reading a few sentences, seeing something he needed to circle, and looking around for his pencil. He looked up, looked left and right, and saw, of course, his pencil nowhere to be seen.

“Wh-“

“Ink, check your hand.”

He blinked, then looked at his gloved hands. In one of which, obviously, was his pencil.

“Thank you, Error!”

Ink gave Error a smile and tilted his head, sort of apologizing for his forgetfulness.

The two sitting at the table who were supposed to be eating were stifling laughs at their parents, one of whom had hair that stuck up so much it _almost_ reached the height of the other.

Suddenly, on this peaceful, normal day, the phone rang. Not much of an abnormality.

Error picked up.

“Hello, this is the Balance household, how can I- Oh, hi Dream.”

Hearing his boss’s name, Ink stops fiddling with the pencil and paper. He walks over, gets on his toes, and puts his chin on Error’s shoulder, and tries to listen in.

“Oh, you need us to come in? We were going to do something with the kids today, but- Yeah, yeah, I know, Dream. We’ll come in. I’ll just have to get Geno to watch them for us.”

Hearing this, the younger of the kids, Gradient, groans. He slams his head on the table next to his food.

“But you guys _promised_ we could have family time this weekend.”

Ink sighs. “Give him a second, Gray.”

Error continues his conversation with their boss. “Yeah, of course- It’s weird that that building fell down, though. I would’ve thought that the new design would’ve worked this time. Of course I’ll bring Ink, I _am_ his partner, both in work and life.”

Error, after a couple of minutes of architectural mumbo-jumbo, finally hangs up, sighing. “Well, looks like we’ll have to move our plans to tomorrow. I’m really, really sorry, kids, this just can’t wait.”

Ink sighs. Gradient sighs. Paperjam doesn’t sigh, but they lean their face on their hands, elbows on the table. They close their eyes, frowning. Gradient sees his older sibling do this, and kinda mirrors it. But, instead of frowning, he pouted. His lips curled down and his eyes got wide. His eyes glistened with tears, while he still pouted while he squished his own cheeks.

Error and Ink both notice Gradient’s look. They looked at each other, both looking guilty, and Ink tried to look away, knowing that he’d fall for his own son’s trap. It didn't work; he looked anyway.

“Gray- Please don’t give me that. I _promise_ \- I _swear_ to you, we _will_ hang out tomorrow. We’ll go to the beach, I promise! Please don’t cry, Gradient, please.”

The younger kid’s eyes swelled with tears.

“Gradient, I’m sorry.”

His cheeks started being flooded with tears.

“Gradient, please, kid, I _swear to you_ I’ll make it up to you.”

Gradient started to whine. A lot. With tears rolling down his cheeks. “But you said that _last_ week! And the week before that! And the week before that!”

“I know, I know, I’m sorry. It won’t happen again I swear.”

While Error talked, Ink had walked over to Gradient and hugged him, falling into the trap the tween had set. Ink looked guilty too.

“We’re sorry kiddo, we really are, but we _have_ to take care of this. It’s important. I’m sorry we have to cut our time short, again, but we’re still on call. We _have_ to go in.”

Gradient continued to cry his half crocodile tears, half real tears into Ink’s shoulder. Meanwhile, Error started to pack their stuff to go to work, including the pencil Ink kept losing every 2 minutes.

After a few minutes of Gradient crying, Error had gotten all their stuff ready, called Geno, and checked up with Paperjam. Gradient _eventually_ stopped crying, but there were a few sniffles left behind.

The doorbell rang, and Error let Geno in.

“Hey, Uncle Geno. Goth not with you?”

“He’s with Reaper!”

Gradient, in all his sniffles, managed to get out a “Hi, Uncle Geno.”

But not without sobbing first.

Geno noticed the crying child first. Then the one who mostly just seemed disappointed. He gave them both a small wave and smile before talking to their parents.

Paperjam rolled their eyes as the parent who had been fawning over their brother a couple of seconds earlier goes to join the other two in discussing whatever adult stuff they had to talk about. “C’mon, Gray, you’re acting like this doesn’t happen every week. This is the third time in a row this has happened. You don’t have to act like this every time.”

Gradient sighed as he wiped away some of the tears that Ink’s sleeve hadn’t caught. “I know this happens a lot, but I really wish they could, y’know, actually keep their promises to us.”

“I know, I wish they would too. But this is just the life we have to live with.”

Ink, Error, and Geno finished their talk. Error grabbed their stuff, and Ink waved bye to the kids one last time before they left. Error shouted a goodbye, as did Ink, both of them rushing off to their workplace.

 

 

~~~

 

 

A couple of hours later, the two’s parents still hadn’t gotten home. Gradient was laid on the couch, staring up at the ceiling with his laptop resting on top of him. Paperjam was at the kitchen table, face on their sketchbook.

“Uncle Geno, are they _ever_ getting home? It’s been _hours,_ ” is what tumbled from Gradient’s mouth after a bit.

“They usually get home before dark. They _always_ get home before we go to bed. It’s almost ten.”

“I know kids, I know. They’re probably stuck in traffic or something. They’ll get back home.”

It was dark. And lonely. And Error and Ink still hadn’t made it home.

 

An hour or so later, a blaring alarm went off.

Paperjam and Gradient jumped. Geno went pale.

“Uncle Geno, what is _that?_ ”

“Uh- there’s a lot to explain and very little time, Gray. Get up, both of you!”

The two did as they were told, grabbed their respective art supplies, and followed Geno with their eyes as he rushed over to one of their many, many bookshelves and pushed a few books around to reveal a switch.  
Gradient huddled up to their older sibling, kind of spooked because of the very loud alarm. He hushed his voice to a whisper, very audible. “PJ, what’s happening?”

“I don’t know, Gray, but it seems bad. I mean, judging by the alarm and all Geno’s havoc.”

As usual, Paper’s sass to their brother was accompanied by a slightly amused tone.

As the two talked, Geno pulled the switch. The bookcase opened like a door, towards the center of the room, and revealed a hallway. The two just blinked as Geno ushered them in.

At the end of the empty, desolate hallway, still adorned with art like the rest of the house, was a door. The door glistened, still looking brand new, somehow with no dust on it. It was not the same type of door as the rest of the house. It was a more futuristic, electric-looking door. The rest of the hallway still fit with the rest of the house’s theme. I mean, what else would you expect from Ink and Error? A mess? Yeah me too.

As Geno ushered them in, however, the window burst. As did the wall. And at the front door.

As the two kids were pushed into the hallway, Geno closed the hidden door behind them. All three ran to the end of the hallway and Geno opened the door, leading into another futuristic looking room.

“Quick- Go, go, go! I’ll try to explain everything.”

 

A couple of seconds later, all three of them were in the room which turned out to be a ship of sorts, speeding towards… wherever they were going.

Paperjam crossed their arms. “So, what exactly is this? And why do _we_ have this? I thought our parents were just architects, I’m pretty sure normal architects don’t have this tech hidden in their fucking house.”

“I agree! What’s going on?”

Geno sighs, “Alright, I told you I’d explain everything, but that was kinda a lie. The only thing that I can _really_ tell you is that, well, your parents aren’t architects, technically. Well, they are, but it’s just a cover. Ink and Error are, to say the only thing that hopefully won’t bring Dream’s wrath for telling kids this, the best spies in our organization.”

The kids, at this information, seemed stunned,

“What? No, no, absolutely not. _Our_ parents? That’s impossible. You’re not serious, are you? I mean, no. _Ink_ cannot be this super cool spy, have you _met_ him? He’s so… air-headed. He’d lose his head if it wasn’t attached to his neck! And Error’s just- Error’s just _Error._ ”

“Yeah! Our dads _can’t_ be spies- this is another one of their stupid pranks, isn’t it? Haha, very funny you two, now one of you come out and act surprised like you always do! This is a _really_ expensive prank, we both want to go college, y’know!”

“Kids, this isn’t a joke. This is serious. You two are both in danger right now, and what we need to do is get to headquarters and stay there. There’s some bad people after them. I don’t know what happened exactly, but that alarm is only for emergencies. And, not only that, the _wall_ got busted down. They may be air-headed and kinda mean, but they don’t joke about this type of stuff. I _promise_ you this isn’t a joke.”

For the rest of the ride, Gradient and Paperjam tried to ask questions. All their questions were either shot down or answered very shortly.

“Are you really our uncle?”

“Yes.”

“What’s Dream’s job?”

“I’m not allowed to answer that.”

“Have they killed anyone before?”  
“They wouldn’t want me to answer that.”

“So that’s a yes? Who was it?”

“Paper, that’s not important. And I never said yes.”

“It’s important to me.”

“I’m not paid enough to deal with you two. How do Error and Ink manage this and being spies?”

“What do _you_ do?”

“Not important.”

“Who do they fight against?”

“Also not important.”

“What about-“

“Not important.”

 

After around a minute, Geno got sick of their questions. Luckily, they got to headquarters before Geno got pushed to the brink.

The two kids hopped out of the vehicle, and, for the first time, realized how utterly terrified they were.

Their parents weren’t home. An alarm had gone off. Their dads were spies, apparently. They could be…

No, no, no, the two couldn’t think of that right now. Geno had said they were the _best._ They couldn’t have done that, could they?

They couldn’t…

Geno walked past them. “C’mon you two, time to go see Dream.”

PJ looked at Gray. Gray looked at PJ.

Paperjam shrugged and followed. Gradient shot a glance behind his back, back to the vehicle, and ran after PJ and Geno. The building they were walking to was definitely one that they had been past before while driving with their parents. They had even pointed it out.

It was… normal. Not somewhere you’d think a spy organization would be held. Big, covered with a lot of windows. Very, very normal looking. Like any building in any city.

When they entered, however, it was different. Well, not the first floor. The first floor was normal: receptionists, desks, different types of potted plants, a lot of people doing paperwork, etc, etc.

Then they went up. To the top floor.

Not only did it give them a view of almost the entire city below, it was… extraordinarily high-tech. A bunch of glowing lines all over the walls, high-tech doors, a lot of the stuff you’d see in cheesy sci-fi movies.

The two followed Geno to a big door. He stopped suddenly, and the two kids bumped into each other.

“Stay here for a couple of minutes.”

They did.

Geno went in.

After a while of them sitting there, they got bored. Because they’re kids and you can’t expect them to sit still for five minutes.

“Paper, I’m borrred.”

“I am too.”

They’d left their art supplies in the vehicle. They had nothing to do.

Gradient got an idea.

“How much trouble would we get in if we explored?”


	2. Meeting A Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Paperjam gives in, Gradient accidentally almost tries to get them killed, and they meet a friend.

“Gradient? No.”

“C’mon!! Isn’t Dad always saying to break the rules?”

“Yes, to break the rules of art. Not break the rules in a place that _could_ get us killed.”

“But-“

“As the older sibling, absolutely not. Do you _want_ to be grounded for life? Because if they find out they _will_ ground us both until we’re in college. Then we’ll be grounded more.”

“But!”

“ ** _No._** ”

Gradient huffed, crossing his arms and sliding down to the floor with his back to the wall. “We’re never allowed to do anything fun.”

“Gray, this is serious. We don’t know where our parents are. We don’t know if they’re okay. We don’t know anything about the situation. Now is not the time to be messing around.”

Gradient looked away from Paperjam. He started to cry.

“Gray, please don’t start- I’m sorry. That was rude. I shouldn’t have said that.”

Gradient ignored this and continued to cry.

PJ rolled their eyes.

“Fine.”

“Fine?”

“Let’s go. Explore, I mean.”

Gradient stopped crying. His head snapped up to look at his sibling, now smiling a lot. “Really?”

“Yes. Now let’s _go_ before Geno comes back, we get in trouble, and we get our asses kicked.”

Gradient popped up as Paperjam turned and started walking. He followed.

“So, where are we going first?”

“I don’t know. This was your idea.”

“Yes, but I start things, I don’t finish things!”

“That’s your own fault. Where do you wanna go?”

“Uh- What about over there?” Gradient pointed to one of the doors marked “Top Secret, Do Not Enter.”

Paperjam, being at least slightly more responsible, stopped. They turned, and, with the most done, tired look on their face, glanced at Gradient.

“Are you actually serious.”

“What?- Oh.”

“You are… blinder than Dad.”

“Yeah…”

“Absolutely not. Let’s find someplace else. That’ll be the least likely to get us killed.”

“Alright!”

They walked around, not really finding anything that both of them found interesting or that wouldn’t get them killed.

Well, there was one thing.

It was a peaceful, nice-looking room. It had a pleasant sign next to it. It was a stark contrast to the rest of the rooms. It had flowers hanging next to it and was overall very pleasant.

The sign read “Agent Blue”.

They had assumed, correctly, that it was Ink and Error’s friend, who they only really knew by the name “Blue”. He had worked at the “architecture firm” with their parents, so it would be assumed he worked here.

He did.

When the kids snuck in, Blue noticed almost instantly. He almost destroyed his desk getting up when he heard the door creak. Within a second, there was already a weapon pointed at Paperjam, who had Gradient hiding behind them.

“Um- hi, Blue. Nice to see you again.”

The taller, blue-eyed agent blinked. Then put the weapon away, laughing. “Oh, hi you two! Wait-“ He blinked again, processing- “why are you two _here_?”

“Well, uh, I think someone tried to break into our house. Geno ushered us to this car thing and now we’re here.”

“Oh- Emergency procedure number three hundred fifty-seven! Of course!”

“357? Are our parents really that cautious?”

“Nope, just Error!”

“Really…?”

“Yep! He’s quite worried about you two a lot!”

“Oh.”

The kids were silent for a moment.

“Wait, if you two are here and there was a break in-“ He gasps- “Goodness me! Did Ink and Error go missing? They did go on a mission today- you two must be terrified!”

The two nod.

“Oh, stars- Well, I know something that used to cheer me up a lot when I was your guys’ age! C’mon, I wanna show you something!”

A minute later, the three were in a very… weird place. There were mannequins, all with several holes.

Not to mention, there were knives everywhere. Some were sticking out of the floor, some were in the wall, there was even a few in the ceiling. There was a huge range of knives, too, from butcher’s knives to steak knives to knives that looked like they had seen some shit.

Oh boy, this was going to be fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh look two chapters in one day, with one more coming :)


	3. A Literal Adult Teaches Children To Throw Knives.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blue teaches Gradient and Paperjam how to throw knives, and they decide to go on a mission to (probably) get themselves killed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> listen it's technically still the same day here so y'all get three chapters in one day congrats

Blue picked up a knife from the floor, tried to decide if he liked it or not, and tried to find the center of balance. He decided he did and aimed at one of the mannequins. He throws the knife, and it hits its target. Bullseye!

Gradient gasped- “That looked so cool! Can you teach me how to do that?”

Paperjam cringed. They’re actually gonna do this, aren’t they?

Blue nodded. “Of course, kiddo! That’s what we’re here to do! It’s how I used to get my emotions out, good or bad!”

“But, wait, Blue, I still have questions about our dads that nobody will answ-“

Paper got interrupted by Gradient’s excitement. “Really? That’s so cool!”

Blue picked up a knife that’s not too sharp, but could still be thrown and probably pierce the mannequin. He gave it to Gradient and started to instruct the kid. He named a few techniques and showed the kids a few himself. He threw multiple knives into the wall, missing the mannequin, almost on purpose.

Then it was Gradient’s turn. He held the knife by the hilt, took a breath, and concentrated. He threw the knife, and…

The knife flew directly above the mannequin and hit the ceiling.

Gradient blinked, processing. “Aww, it didn’t make it…”

“Hey, that was pretty good, kiddo! Better than my first time throwing a knife, for sure! Mine almost hit Paps in the face… Luckily, he dodged! I’m glad you didn’t hit Paperjam in the face! Speaking of, PJ, would you like to try?”

The mentioned kid, PJ, sighed dramatically and rolled their eyes again. “Fiiine.”

They stood up from where they ended up sitting, walked over, and picked up a knife that they thought looked good, and did basically what Gradient did. Except they released the knife later, which, in turn, caused the knife to hit the mannequin square in the head.

Gradient gaped at the result.

“Damn, kid, that was awesome!”

“Ok, can we go do something else now?”

“Absolutely not! That was incredible, Paper!! You have to show Dad that when they get back!”

At that, the three go quiet. Gradient hadn’t realized what he was going to say until after he had said it. Paperjam looks away, kinda discouraged, and Blue, shockingly, doesn’t know what to do.

After a few seconds, the adult in the room pipes up again. “Well, if you two are really that worried about them, I could help you sneak out and find them!”

“Really? You’d _sneak_ us, two _little kids_ , who have _no_ experience in any of this type of stuff into a very _dangerous_ situation that _could_ be where our _parents died?_  Gradient's barely 12!”

“Yep, I don’t see what the problem here is, PJ! I'm a capable adult- I won't let you two get hurt!”

“Oh my god, you’re all _insane._ ”

“C’mon, Paper! We’ll be fine, we do have Blue on our side!”

“Of course you do! I’m the _magnificent Blue_ , after all!”

“This is. Suicidal- Gray, you _can’t_ be serious. They’ll _actually murder us_ if we get hurt.”

“Then we won’t get hurt!”

“Are you _not_ supposed to be an adult?”

“I am! And as the adult, I say we go find your parents!”

“And I’m going to die today. Or tomorrow. Or when we find our dads. Most likely by their hands.”

“So you _do_ think we can rescue them!”

“Nope, Gray, I think we’re going to find them because we’ll get captured too and we will die because we put ourselves in danger. Am I the only sane one here?”

Yes, yes you are, Paperjam. I’m sorry.

The bickering of the siblings continued as they walked to another place. Blue and Gradient seemed in good spirits, as the other one thought how they’re going to be killed today.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While it might not be the most in character adaptions of them, I just really love the idea of Blue being ever so slightly insane. Or having anger issues. I like him a lot ok leave me alone.  
> (Sorry for a slightly shorter chapter, I didn't feel like writing 8 pages for this one or the one before ;))


	4. Remembering The Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We flash over to Ink and Error for a bit.

Ink sighed. Not this shit again.

He and his husband got poked along, guns threatening to shoot at any second. This was… not the first time, to say the least.

“Hey, I’m keeping pace. Quit poking me with that, bucko.”

“Watch it, captive. _You’re_ not the one the boss wants. Plus, you’re in a disadvantageous position.”

Ink got a look from Error that warned him to stay quieter than he had been wanting to. Fine, he’d comply. But it wouldn’t stop him from glaring at their captors.

Nightmare’s crew. Of course it _had_ to be them. Every single time. The past three times, they’d been able to escape, barely.

Those were a while ago. Before Paperjam and Gradient would be able to remember.

God, where were those two right now?

Ink tried to remember all of what had happened.

They went out of the house, went… somewhere, then…

Blank.

Error could clearly tell Ink was in distress and forgot something. He reached out to touch his arm, but, before he could, got shoved with the business end of the gun. Apparently comforting his husband was out of the question.

Of course it was.

It was _Nightmare._

His old boss.

He instantly remembered why he had left.

There’s so many… negative emotions.

It used to be his safe place, the place where he felt most at home. He had family and friends. They had taken him in, then…

Then he had _that_ mission. The mission to kill the person who’d someday become his husband.

The mission to kill Ink.

Ink, who was one of Dream’s best agents. Ink, the one who practically changed the course of the entire war between the brothers. He’d always been so secretive, so smart and so… sassy.

That was quite a day.

_A day Error would never forget._

It was foggy, and the night of a ball. Not only that, it was a charity ball. Of course, it was at a _charity ball_ , Nightmare just wanted to ruin everything, didn’t he?

Ink was undercover as a guest. Actually, Error wasn’t sure if it was undercover or not, but either way…

…Ink looked amazing. And he had this _pure_ look in his eye. It was the night that Error started to question if the life he had been forced into was the right one. He was smiling this pure, genuine smile that just… made Error melt every time he looked at it. He didn’t **want** to carry out his job. He _couldn’t_.

Ink had bumped into him. And apologized. And he had been nice about it.

Then, later, when he had finally cornered him, he couldn’t find his gun. Or _anything_ he had had.

And Ink pulled the gun out of his own pocket. He also had Error’s wallet, photos, and _everything._ Including the photo Error had of him, there just to make sure that he found the right target.

_“May wanna keep a closer eye on your things,_ **_Glitchy._ ** _You never know who’s around here to pickpocket.”_

And that’s when it started. The constant, never-ending mocking from his friends and family- no, his coworkers.

“Error couldn’t even kill his target!”

“What a weakling!”

Even Nightmare, the one who had taken him in first, mocked him.

So, from then on, Error tried to do it every time he could. Ink evaded him. Every single time.

And, eventually, Error’s desire to kill, pent up from years and _years_ of failing…

It turned into a desire to be with him. And it showed. Error could barely go on any missions, lest he’d have to face Ink again.

The last thing he’d seen on the last mission he’d gone on for them was Ink. He was wearing casual clothes, not something you’d expect from one of the greatest agents in modern times. He was hanging out, leaning out of a window, _waiting_ for Error. As soon as he arrived, he gave a small salute.

_“Au revoir, Glitchy! J'espère te revoir!”_

And that was the last mission Error’d ever gone on. Once the top operative for Nightmare, he failed every mission thus far.

Because of this, and because Nightmare was afraid to be seen as soft, Error wasn’t allowed to do any missions on his own anymore.

So, being deprived of his silence and lonesomeness, he quit.

Not outright, of course, but in the night. He escaped. He ran. He couldn’t ever go back to them.

Ever.

So he had a last resort.

He sought out Ink.

They talked. For a long, long time. Ink took Error under his wing. He let him stay at his house. He didn’t ask too many hard questions and was… understanding.

The rest is history. Error joined Ink’s side, they dated and…they proposed on the same night. They got married. They adopted two wonderful kids, and, despite _everyone’s_ warnings, continued to do their spy work while raising them.

And, because they ignored the warnings…

They’re in this position now.


	5. Getting Caught.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Paperjam, Gradient, and Blue got caught. Blue gets lectured, and the siblings mock each other.

“Blue. Are you _serious?”_

“Yes, very. About what?”

“ ** _You_** were about to take two **children** out into the _field_. Where they could get _killed_. Or _caught_ by the **_biggest enemy we have because they’re our top agents’ kids._** ”

“Yeah, I’d be there to protect them! Plus, they can handle themselves!”

“Neither of them can even drive yet- Never mind- Not _only_ that, you taught them to _THROW KNIVES?”_

“Yeah! It was fun. And they both have a lot of potential!”

“… _When_ was your last psyche exam?”

“A little while ago!”

“We need to schedule a new one.”

“Aw, what?”

Paperjam and Gradient sat on the couch while Blue got yelled at by Geno. Gradient sat cross-legged, doodling on his drawing tablet which had been retrieved from the car. Paperjam was doodling on their sketchbook, grumpily.

Gradient’s phone buzzed.

_I told you :/_

He shot a glare towards his sibling.

_You don’t have to be mean about it._

Paperjam snorted.

_Yes, but I can be sassy and you can’t stop me_

The siblings shot another look at each other, then moved to opposite ends of the couch.

They had gotten caught trying to sneak out by a worried Geno, who had instantly realized what happened, and yelled at Blue. Then, they got dragged to the lounge after grabbing their stuff, and… there they were.

Dream walked through the door.

He was the same Dream they both knew- the one who got them the sweetest and most thoughtful presents, always showed up to gatherings with his kid (Palette) was always really happy and- seemingly- naive.

Except he was serious-looking. And, unbeknownst to the children in the room, extremely mad. Geno recognized this, pat Blue on the shoulder, and left the room, knowing the other two adults had it handled and could make sure the kids didn’t kill anyone.

Dream grabbed Blue by the same shoulder that Geno had patted him on. Blue gulped.

“Blue. What in the world were you thinking?”

Ah, it was _that_ tone of voice. The tone of voice where you can tell the user is about to kill someone with their own two, bloodied hands.

“Uh-“

“You could have gotten Ink and Error’s kids _killed_.”

Blue put up his hands in surrender.

“I’m sorry, Dream- I just. They were worried and I thought it was a good idea.”

Dream takes a breath.

“Your intentions were in the right place. However, you should not have tried it. Next time you try _anything_ like this, there will be severe consequences.”

Dream let the threat hang in the air as he let go of the agent, walked over to the kids, and turned his scary face into a smile.

“Hey, it’s the dynamic duo! How are my two favorites of Ink’s kids?”

“Weird implying that Dad has more than two children- But good otherwise.”

“Paper, are you sure? I can tell you and Gradient are mad at each other.”

They responded in unison.

“We aren’t.”

“Are you both sure?”

“Yep.”

Dream raised an eyebrow.

“I know what it’s like to be mad at your sibling, kids. I can tell when it’s happening. It’s never worth it.”

The two stopped, looked at each other, and sighed.

“Fine. I’m sorry, Gray.”

“I’m sorry too, PJ.”

Dream smiled sweetly.

“Good, now wasn’t that easy? Now, let’s get you two-“

“Uncle Dream, where are our dads?”

“Are they gonna be okay?”

Dream went silent. He stood up.

“I don’t know.”

Paperjam and Gradient glanced at each other. At the same time, they spoke.

“Can we help?”

Dream shook his head.

“What those two will want most is you two being safe. The best thing you can do for them is to stay here.”

The siblings went quiet. Dream left the room, letting Geno come back in. Blue and Geno went off into the corner, talking.

Gradient glanced at Paperjam, then at the adults, then smiled back at Paperjam.

“You thinking what I’m thinking?”


	6. The Kids Escape.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They run and almost get caught, which is fun.

Paperjam sighed. Then rolled their eyes.

Of _course_ , Gradient would try again. There was no stopping the gremlin once he got something in his head.

Well, there was nothing they could do about it. Might as well go along with it.

So they did.

The two kids planned what they were going to do- not out loud, of course, but over text. As soon as Blue and Geno were distracted, they’d go. Then, they’d… figure out how to save their dads.

This was not very well planned. In the slightest.

But it was the best they had.

So, that’s what they did.

They didn’t exactly have a plan to distract them, though.

So they thought.

Paperjam used their phone to look up the Wikihow article on how to distract someone. And that didn’t help in the slightest, as usual.

Wikihow’s stupid.

_Extremely_ stupid.

However, they noticed the adults were already distracted. Geno was smiling at his phone, presumably texting his husband, and Blue was staring longingly out the window. Apparently, he wasn’t allowed to go on any missions alone anymore. At least for a week. Because he taught _children_ to _throw knives._ Paperjam decided to tell their brother this. Over text.

_Gray, are you seeing those two? I think we found our distraction._

Gradient glanced at the adults quickly, then typed back.

_That’s it!_

_I can’t believe I’m agreeing to this_

_I can’t either. But you know I’m your favorite brother!_

_You’re my only brother._

_The point stands!_

Paperjam rolled their eyes once again.

_Whatever._

Gradient laughed a bit.

And with that, they snuck out. Crawling across the floor, opening the door quietly, then running, hearing the door slam behind them, getting as far away as they could before the adults noticed.

And noticed they did!

Within _seconds_ of the door slamming, the adults noticed. They rushed out of the door, coming after the two kids, who were most _definitely_ in trouble. Or about to be killed.

So they ran. Into an elevator, which closed before the adults could get in.

Paperjam pushed the button for the floor up.

“Wait, Paper, what are you?-“

“Trust me, Gray.”

“Fine.”

And so, they went up. Then, as soon as they did, Paperjam grabbed their brother by the hood and ran to another elevator, dragging him behind.

Then, they pressed the down button. And down they went.

Down, down, down.

To the first floor.

Then, they snuck around to the front, peeking around the corner.

Geno and Blue were waiting, arms crossed, at the front doors. Geno looked mad. Blue looked disappointed.

“Well, what do we do now, Gray?”

“Find another way out.”

“Is there a back door?”

“Probably.”

“Right- time to go look for it. Or- do we have any ideas for a distraction?”

“Nope!”

“Great.”

“What’s the plan?”

The two go behind the corner once again, hiding and planning.

They formulated, discussed, brainstormed, did _everything_ they could to try to figure out what to do.

And nothing came up. They thought and thought, and they couldn’t figure out anything.

Until something _finally_ popped up.

And that’s what they did.

They got to the elevator again, the one _not_ in Blue and Geno’s direct point of view.

The door dinged and they both hopped to the side to try and hide.

They didn’t make it.

A guy, kinda dressed in the style of their “fashion icon” (according to himself) of a dad walked into the hallway. The two kids _tried_ to act natural, dawned a scared smile and the younger one, Gradient, hid behind his sibling.

Then, he turned to the kids. His glasses glared in the light, and he almost dropped the huge stack of paperwork he was holding.

“Paperjam, Gradient? What the he-hell are you doing here?”

One of their Dad’s _best_ friends in the whole world was staring at the two in shock.

“Oh, um, hi, Template…”

“Oh, wait, goodness- if you two are here…“ He looked back and forth worriedly. “Where are your parents?”

“Yeah, about that-“

The two siblings frantically explained what happened, Paperjam interrupted their brother whenever he said something that should be said. Template listened with a concerned look.

When they were done, Template thought.

“And… you two have permission to be out of the break room?”

“Nope, not in the slightest- ow!”

Gradient shut up from a slight pinch of the cheek from his sibling.

“Of course we do, _don’t we,_ ** _Gray?_** ”

Gradient nodded, smiling the same, kinda scared smile Paperjam had.

“Oh, good! Though it’s unlike Dream to let kids out of his or anyone else’s sight while they’re here. He’s awful protective- He doesn’t even let his _own_ kid here!”

“Yeah, odd, isn’t it!”

Paperjam tried to keep their cool. They were both trying, I _promise._

_“_ Yeah, for _sure_. Are you _sure_ you didn’t just try and lie your way out of this?”

“Yep!” The siblings said in unison, both of their voices going into falsetto.

Template raised an eyebrow, putting the stack of paper on the couch that was resting in the room. He put his hands on his hips.

“You absolutely _sure?_ Because if your _parents_ find out you lied to me, I’m sure they’ll be incredibly disappointed in you.”

“Yep- Gotta go!”

Paperjam grabbed their brother by the hood again and ran from Template, scared of any more interrogation from the adult.

Template knew better. Supposedly. So he ran to the front desk with the papers. Then, noticing Geno and Blue, rushed over and told them about what happened.

The other two ran to find the kids. They searched through the entire first floor, all the closets, nooks, and crannies they could’ve crammed themselves into- hell, even the places they _couldn’t_ have crammed themselves into.

And they couldn’t find the kids.

“Oh god, oh god- Dream’s gonna _kill us.”_

“ _Dream’s_ gonna kill us? Do you _realize_ how protective Error is of his kids? We are _so_ dead.”

“Ink’s gonna have our _heads.”_

“ _I’m_ gonna kill us both- how could we lose two _kids_ in a place where there’s a room with _actual lasers_ that can _cut people in half_?? For fuck’s sake, Blue, _I have a kid who is in this building, why did I not pay more attention??”_

Blue and Geno continued to frantically search the _entire_ first floor- and the second floor- for the kids. Alas, they were nowhere to be found.

That is, nowhere to be found except _just_ inside the stairway. The far one, the one hidden behind a painting or two.

They hid there, in silence, waiting. Waiting for a sign. From a friend.

A knocking sequence came from the outside. Morse code. “Safe”.

So, the two got out. Gray hopped out, smiling and waving to his friend.

“Hi, Goth!”


	7. Back to Error and Ink.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We pop back to Error and Ink, who are in the middle of getting themselves killed.

Ink stared in shock. _This_ was the person who had ordered their capture? _This_ was _Nightmare?_

I mean, he was expecting something, but not _this._

He was _supposed_ to be the captain- the biggest, meanest of them all.

It was hard to take the man sitting in front of them, at his desk, seriously when Ink was taller than him.

Ink opened his mouth to say something. Error slapped his hand over his husband's mouth, realizing that it was probably something that was really, really stupid that _should not_ be said.

Ink realized the same and decided not to say anything.

“Ah, Error, it’s been a while.”

Ink was very obviously struggling to not talk.

“Mhm.”

Error was also struggling. Both of them were struggling. Obviously, they both hated the situation. Equally.

“The hell do you want, _Nightmare?_ ”

He said his old boss’s name with scorn, as any person would if they had to sit in front of someone that mocked and discredited all of their achievements for _one mistake_.

I mean, it _was_ a pretty big mistake. And his first.

“Oh, isn’t it obvious? Error, we want you to work with us again. Both of you would be preferable, but…”  
He let the threat hang in the air, shooting a slight glare towards Ink.

Error got pissed.

“Do you really think I’d go back?”

“Well, not willingly, no.”

At that, the sound of a gun cocking sounded throughout the room.

The lovebirds froze and exchanged glances of “oh shit”.

“What? Did you think we’d let you go if you two weren’t on our side?”

“You’re _insane._ ”

“Perhaps. Or perhaps I just know how to get my way.”

“Again, _insane._ ”

Nightmare put his elbows on the table, then rested his chin on his hands.

“So, do you have an answer? Or do you require more convincing?”

Ink chose this moment to talk.

“Wait, why do you even want to two of us anyway?”

“What.”

Error looked fearfully at Ink, realizing that _one_ wrong word could and would get them killed. Ink looked calm. Error knew he was actually freaking the fuck out because he was questioning why he opened his mouth, because this is Ink, obviously.

“I mean, why? Aren’t you Nightmare, the strongest and most evil of criminals? Why would you need us?”

Ink’s tone was sarcastic.

Nightmare glared straight into Ink’s eyes, staring right into his soul. Ink got scared.

He started to laugh. And laugh. His laughter got louder.

He stopped abruptly and stared at Ink again.

“I like you, Ink. You’d be a good addition to the team.”

Error and Ink shared a look again, this time more scared and question what the fuck Ink just did.

“Both of you would be good additions. Our current members are quite… unskilled. You two have been in this field for quite a long time.”

Ink got halfway through muttering something sassy before Error grabbed his hand, trying to make him shut up.

Ink got the message.

“Also, if you _don’t_ join, I’ll kill you.”

“That doesn’t-“

“And drag your kids into this business, then, eventually, kill them too. Not while they’re kids, of course. I’m not a _complete_ monster.”

Error crashed.

“Ok. That scares us a little. Just a little.”

Error grabbed Ink’s hand out of fear. Ink rubbed the back of Error’s hand with his thumb and tried to calm him down a bit. He was glitching a lot and was very obviously scared.

“Is… there any other way?”

“Hmm… no. There is no other way.”

“Really?”

“The more you ask, the faster the clock ticks, Ink.”

Ink shut up, trying to think of any other things to ask.

“Tick tock, tick tock, you two. Time’s running out.”

Ink realized that they’re both in _very_ deep shit.

“I…”

Error stopped panicking as much as he was. He took a deep breath and looked at Nightmare again.

“We aren’t joining. You can do whatever the _hell_ you want to us, but I’m _not_ going back. Ever.”

Nightmare snarled.

“Wrong decision, Error.”

They fell as the ground fell out from under them, Nightmare shooting them one last deranged smile.  ****


	8. The kids Waste Time.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The kids waste time, then find out something that could very well help them a lot.

Gradient waved excitedly at Goth. Paperjam looked like they were about to panic. Which they were.

“Alright, Gray, we have to get going soon. Also, Goth, I can’t believe _your_ parents, the ones everyone thinks are the uptight ones, were the first ones to tell their kids about their jobs.”

Goth giggled. “I know, right? I thought it was kinda weird too, but I _was_ too young to go to school when they adopted me, so they kinda had to! They would’ve had to pay for a babysitter, and explain why they always need to run at the last moment.”

“That’s… actually not the worst idea. Our parents have had worse.”

Gradient laughed. “Remember when they tried to throw you a surprise party?”

“Stars, don’t remind me. I almost killed all three of you.”

Gradient still giggled. “Remember when Dad almost got into a fight with- what was her name?- Karen? Because she was saying all that stuff about vaccinations causing autism or whatever?”

“Gradient, oh my stars- we have more _important_ things to do!” Paperjam started on their way, Gradient following closely behind.

“What about the water park?”

“Ok, the water park was _only_ Dad’s idea. Pops had _nothing_ to do with it.”

“That’s a lot of our parents’ ideas!”

“Maybe you two get your bad ideas from him.”

“Goth, that’s really right!”

Paperjam hushed their brother and their friend. “Quiet!! We’re gonna get caught! We’re supposed to be _sneaking_ out!”

Gradient, like the other two, went quiet as they snuck out.

“Wait, how are you two supposed to get them out?”

“We… will figure it out while we’re there.”

“This… seems like a very, _very_ bad idea, Gray. Maybe we _should_ plan this more.”

“I… It’ll be fine!”

“Are you _absolutely_ sure? Because both our lives and our parent’s lives are _kinda_ at stake here.”

“Of course I’m sure!”

“Okay. But don’t we need tools and things?”

“Paperjam, I know you know how to pick locks. With a hair clip and a paperclip. Which I also know you have.”

“Wait- what?!”

“I’ve seen you pick a lock before!!”

“…Did you tell Dad?”

“Nope!”

“…Thank you.”

“Why?”

“Because if you told him what I picked- _once_ \- I would have been grounded for life.”

“What did you pick?”

“That’s… not your business.”

“Oh my god…”

“It wasn’t anything bad I _swear_.”

“Sure…”

“It wasn’t!”

“I’m gonna tell Dad—“

“Wait, no, don’t, please.”

Gradient gave Paperjam an evil smile.

“Gradient, no. Let’s forget this ever happened and go save our parents.”

“Alright!”

Goth snorted. “I mean, yeah, we’re just gonna hack into a most likely high tech and high-security system. What’s the big deal?”

“Exactly!”

“Gradient, that was sarcasm.”

“Oh…”

Paperjam rolled their eyes. “C’mon! Let’s go. If we don’t go faster, we might be too late.”

Gradient nodded and started on his way. “You saw the computer room earlier, right?”

“I did not, no.”

“Well, the information we need is probably over there!”

“Aaand you can hack?”

“I mean… kinda?”

“Aaand our parents are going to kill us both? Because we know how to get into things we’re not supposed to?”

“Yep!”

“Mhm, that’s what I thought.”

~~~

Somehow, they got in. Paperjam had to undo some of their bobby-pins, making it poof up (like most people in their family’s hair did). But only on that part of their hair. However, if it had been Ink who took his hair apart, it would have sprung and flung bobby pins across the entire floor, because, somehow, defied both all the hairspray in the house _and_ the laws of physics.

Anyway.

Gradient stood in front of the giant computer screens which, conveniently, nobody was using. Even though, honestly, it probably should’ve been being used. They probably did have their own computers.

Paperjam stood at the door, sort of to stand watch, but also trying, desperately, to fix their hair.

They were failing.

Gradient, however, was succeeding! He, somehow, hacked into a high surveillance spy building by himself. Being like, what, an egg? Literally not even born yet? It was kind of impressive.

That aside, Gradient stared at the information that he found.

“Oh… my stars. Paperjam, are you seeing this?”

Paperjam stared. I mean, this couldn’t be true, could it?

The building that was supposedly where their parents were was…

Two doors down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why didn't Dream just go down there himself if its that close? Well, it's because he's a tyrant, of course! And he has to plan things like this out, obviously!


	9. Guess What? They're Alive!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We jump back to Ink and Error (Again!)   
> (Warning for a couple of threats this chapter! Nothing too serious!)

Ink, when he landed, managed to roll and land safely.

Error landed on top of him, then quickly scrambled to get off.

“I… Oh, stars-“ Ink got up and went over to Error, “-Error, are you alright?”

Error got up, grabbed a hold of Ink’s hand, and took a couple of seconds to breathe. He nodded, “Yeah, yeah, I’m okay… Are you?”

Ink nodded, holding Error’s hand tightly. The two used each other as a sort of lifeline, and they weren’t going to let go until they were safe and their kids were safe.

Error threw his other arm around Ink, embracing him tightly.

“I hate this place so much…”

“I know, I know. It’ll be okay. We’ll get out. You won’t have to go back here ever again. I’ll make sure of it.”

“Promise…?”

“I promise, Glitchy.”

Error let go of Ink, keeping their hands connected.

“Alright, come on, we need to find out where we are.”

Ink looked around. Error put on his glasses.

It was dark. It was hard to see anything, but they tried anyway. They could only make out a couple of things. A couple of chairs, a table, and something that looked kind of like a door.

Then, the lights flickered on.

The walls were mirrors. The decor was minimalistic. One table. Only two chairs. The furniture was white.

One of Ink’s many personal hells.

He looked like he was about to throw up. This time, it was Error’s turn to comfort his husband. He hooked his arm around Ink once again, pulling him in so he didn’t have to see the surroundings.

He called out to the room, frustrated.

“ _This_ is it? _This_ is your plan? Scare us- scare my husband until we agree to your insane, idiotic deal?!”

To Error’s surprise, he got a response from the “big boss” himself. He noticed a speaker and a camera in the corner.

_“Actually, I’m planning to keep you here until my plan is fully in action. You’ll be seeing your kids die as you slowly starve to death, isn’t that fun!”_

“What happened to you planning to make our kids join your side?! Weren’t you going to kill them on one of their missions?”

_“I’ve decided this route will be much more fun. After all, they’ve already found out about you two so I won’t get to shatter their innocence by telling them their parents were evil.”_

“They’re smarter than you think. They won't believe you.”

_“Oh, isn’t that sweet? Parents saying their kids are better than the world thinks. Oh, what would you do if they found out they’re doing one of the stupidest things they could do.”_

“What- they would _never_.”

_“Oh, have we mentioned we sent some people to your house? Your stupid ‘brother’, as you so insist on calling him, decided to take your kids to_ **_my_ ** _brother’s headquarters. Could you ever guess what they’re doing with your kids now? I’ll give you a hint- your kids got_ **_lost_ ** _.”_

It was Ink’s turn to talk, not letting go of Error’s hand.   
“They’d never let those two get hurt. _Never_.”

_“Really? You seem to underestimate Dream’s ability to mess up on these things.”_

“He’d _never_ , ever let our kids do something that crazy. He has cameras _all over_ the building. He’ll be able to find them.”

_“Really? Cause that’s how_ **_I_ ** _know where they are. They’re currently trying to find out where you two are. They think you’re just down the street. How are the kids of two of the top agents that stupid?”_

Ink clenched his teeth. “Don’t hurt my _kids_.”

_“Don’t worry- I won’t! But my people might if they’re not careful.”_

Ink growled, definitely about to kick someone’s ass. “ _Then_ _make. Sure. They. Don’t. Get. Hurt.”_

_“Where’s the fun in that?”_

“You son of a bitch, I should-“

_“You should what? You’re stuck in here, aren’t you?”_

“Damnit.”

_“I mean, if you really_ **_want_ ** _to get out, my offer still stands.”_

It was Error’s turn to snarl, “I will _never_ go back.”

_“Yeah, you’ve said that. Oh well, it’s your loss. Not my fault you’re gonna be stuck here for the rest of your life.”_

“That’s what you think.”

_“Or is it what I know? I have cameras in this room, you know.”_

“Dream’s going to do something about this. I know he will.”

_“Oh, about that! Dream knows if he tries_ **_anything_ ** _, I won’t hesitate to make my plan go faster.”_

Ink had to think. As did Error.

So… it was true.

They really were stuck here.


	10. The Kids Tried That.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The three kiddos are idiots for a chapter, and it costs them.

Paperjam stared at the screen.

“Are you _kidding me_?”

“I… maybe I messed something up? That can’t be the right place. They would’ve done something sooner, right? It’s been _hours_. I mean, I know they have to plan things, but…

“I know, Gray, I don’t believe it either. But, on the bright side, we don’t have to steal any vehicles, do we?”

Goth went up to the screen too, looking at it.

“Is this the right case?”

“I mean, we might’ve gotten something wrong.”

“This probably isn’t the first time they’ve been captured, right, PJ?”

Paperjam nodded. They continued to look at the screen. They pointed at the date: Four years ago.

“Wrong case.”

Gradient sighed.

“Ok, that’s… good to know. Let’s keep looking.”

He went back to the files. The siblings both looked- Paperjam at the dates, Gradient at the descriptions.

“There! That’s today’s date!”

“That’s the one!”

Gradient clicked on it. The screen shone the word “password”.

“Password…?”

“Damnit, why does everything in this place have to be password protected?!”

“Pj, language.”

“Shut up, Goth.”

“Gradient, try ‘Nightmare’. Spelled with as many numbers as you can think of.”

Gradient tried it. It didn’t work.

**_Password incorrect. Two tries left._ **

“Darn it.”

“Well, what the heck could be the password?!”

“What about ‘Ink’?”

Gradient tried it. It didn’t work.

**_Password incorrect. One try left._ **

“Can we get a hint?”

“I don’t think that’s the best idea- what if it sends a notice to Dream?”

“Then he’ll know where we are and we won’t be able to help.”

“And we not be able to save our parents.”

“What’s the password?! I don’t know what it could be.”

“…Gradient.”

“Yeah?”

“Try _our_ names.”

“What?”

“Dream loves kids, right? And we mean a lot to our parents. So try ‘PaperjamGradient’.”

“You sure? We only have one chance left.”

“Yes.”

Gradient tried it. It worked!

Gradient and Paperjam cheered. “Yes!”

They studied the document. It turns out, the first one was wrong.

The place they were being kept at was not two doors down.

It was four doors down!

“What the hell.”

“Paperjam!”

“What the hell!”

“Paperjam!!”

“It’s literally four doors down.”

“Fine, stop swearing, let’s just go.”

 

Paperjam and Gradient stood outside the fence to the place, messing with the various small tools they’d managed to steal without anyone knowing.

It was terrifying.

The giant, dark building loomed over them. The windows seemingly didn’t shine. It blocked out all the sun.

It was very obviously high security. Cameras, pressure plates, and guards stood in front of the door.

“How are we going to get in…?”

“Is there a back door?”

Paperjam shook their head. “Nope, that one’s guarded too.”

“Maybe we’re small enough to get by unnoticed?”

“Maybe…”

The two kids looked at their tools.

“Is there anything we can use…?”

“What about this?” Gradient held up a knife.  
Paperjam stared at their brother in shock and disbelief.

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding!”

“Okay, fine, whatever. Maybe we should just sneak around.”

“What kind of place is this, anyway? Aren’t they supposed to be a demolition company? Why do they have so many guards?”

“That’s… a good question. Wait, did you say demolition?”

“Yeah, why?”

“I may be getting an idea.”

“I feel like this isn’t going to go well.”

 

It didn’t! In the slightest.

Gradient was standing on Paperjam’s shoulders, wearing a far-too-big trench coat and a far-too-big hat.

“Pj, are you _sure_ about this?”

“Do you have any _better_ ideas?!”

“No, but this seems like it’s not going to work.”

 

By the time they had gotten up to door, Paperjam had tripped at least once. They got up to the door, however, managing to ignore the looks they were getting going _up_ to the door.

When one of the guards spoke, the sarcasm in his voice was _incredibly_ obvious, seeing through the “disguise” the kids had pulled together.

“Why _hello,_ ** _sir._** How may we help you on this _fine_ _evening_?”

The other guard, wasting no time, gently pushed the kids over.

The trench coat and hat flew as the two fell onto the floor.

“Oh hey, aren’t those two the kids the boss told us to look out for?”

“They are, aren’t they?”

The kids looked at each other.

“Gradient? Run.”

They got up and tried to run. Obviously, there being like three other guards, it didn’t work. The kids’ arms got grabbed and they got dragged away. 


	11. So You Lost The Kids?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Geno and Blue get scolded, and Dream gets an unexpected call.

Blue and Geno stood in the giant office, waiting for… anything.

“You… _what_?!”

They shared a nervous, but knowing, glance.

“We, uh, sorta can’t find Paperjam.”

“Or Gradient.”

Dream slammed his head on his desk, wondering what the fuck was happening.

“You two, some of the most capable agents we have, lost _two kids._ ”

“Yeah…”

“Not _only_ that, you taught them how to _throw knives._ ”

The spies looked at each other, exchanging fear-filled, shaken expression.

Dream directly glared into their shaky, sorrowful souls. Were they serious?

“Where are they?”

They looked away.

“Blue. Geno. Where in the _world_ are _Ink and Error’s_ ** _children?_** ”

Blue spoke up, “The computer room’s lock was picked. We found Goth in there.”

“Geno. Did you ask Goth where they went?”

“Yes, I did, but he said he didn’t know.”

Dream rose from his desk, holding his face in his hands. “And you believed him?”

“No, but… Reaper came around and took him to our office.”

Dream sighed in despair, wondering how he came to this. Of course, he’d dealt with some stupid dealings in the past, but nothing like _losing_ ** _kids_** _in an international spy agency._

He inhaled deeply.

“Okay. Here’s what we’re going to do. We’re going to _figure out where the hell the kids went_ , then, we’re going to _find them._ Actually, not us, you! You get to find them, because I’m too busy looking for their _dads!_ ”

The pair nodded, realizing that, if they pushed Dream any further, they’d probably get chastised for the rest of their lives and career.

Dream took another deep breath.

“Go! Now! Find their goddamn kids before we find _them_ so they don’t kill us all!”

They scurried out.

As they did, Dream’s computer showed a number that hadn’t been shown in a while. Someone was trying to contact him.

Nightmare.

It had been a while since the brothers talked. Years, in fact. Since their mother died, and everything in their schools and past lives…

Nightmare hadn’t felt the need to contact Dream in a long time. It was normally Dream trying to contact him. Mostly to ask him to stop.

_Call requested. Accept?_

Dream really didn’t have a choice, did he? He pressed accept.

The screen brightened, then darkened, showing his twin. He wore something similar to what they both wore as kids- even topped with a cape.

Back when they were nice to each other.

Back when the got along.

Dream scowled. “Nightmare, what do you want?”

“Aw, is that any way to treat your big brother?” He spoke in a childish, innocent voice. “Dreamy, I’m hurt! Is it a crime to call you up for a chat?”

“Oh, give me a break. It’s been _years_ since _you_ contacted _me._ We both know you haven’t been trying since Mom died.”

It was Nightmare’s turn to scowl.

“Shut up, Dream. You _promised_ you wouldn’t bring that up.”

“Just like we promised to stay on the same side?”

“That was ages ago. Plans change. Morals change. People change. Get off your high horse.”

“What high horse? I’m trying to _protect_ people here. What do you get out of torturing and terrorizing _innocents_?!”

“Oh, you know, you get really valuable information. Like your agents’ real names, locations, oh, and families!”

Dream connected the dots.

“Leave those kids out of it. They don’t know what they’re doing.”

“Oh, but should I? How nice would that be! Leaving _innocent children_ out of arguments? Like how you let Geno’s kid in your building? Like how _you_ , fuckface, left _everyone else_ out of _our_ argument?”

Dream went silent. He looked away.

“Aw, what’s the matter? Cat got your tongue?”

“I didn’t mean for that to happen.”

“Well, it did. Get over yourself. It’s your fault. Even if it wasn’t intended, it still was you to blame.”

“I didn’t want it to end up like this.”

“Do I need to repeat myself?”

Nightmare continued to lounge around on his chair, looking really relaxed.

“Anyway, I didn’t call you to argue. I called you to gloat!”

“…What?”

“How does it feel to _finally_ be the loser, Dreamy?! _I_ got your two best agents! Not only that, I got their kids! Or, that’s what my guards are telling me, at least.”

Dream’s confusion was prominent.

“Isn’t it sad to lose for once?”

“I’m… Nightmare, we haven’t given up on getting them back.”

“Oh, please.” He wove off the comment,. “There’s no way anyone’s getting past my guards. Especially not your agents. I mean, they tried, didn’t they? Their kids did, at the least.”

Dream slammed his hands on the desk. “Shut up! Leave these kids out of it, Nightmare!”

“Oh, that hit a nerve.”

“I’m done with this! The heck do you want for all four of them back?”

“Oh, nothing! You’re _not_ getting them back. Error’s _mine_ again. He’s not leaving. Nor Ink! They’re going to work for _me_ now. Or, their kids will die! Thank your agents for basically giving them to me, it really did help my plan.”

_“Damnit!_

“Wow, wait a minute! You sly dog, are you swearing now? You either really have changed or you’re really frustrated about this, Dreamy.”

“I _know_ them! They’ll never give in to you.”

“I mean, judging from how you’re reacting, you would. _Especially_ if it was _your_ kid. Or kids!”

“Nightmare, are you really reaching this low?!”

Nightmare feigned an innocent look, put his hands under his chin in artificial purity, and, in a condescending tone, mocks, “Oh, Nighty! I can’t be _lieve_ you’re so rude!! Bringing _children_ into this?! Threatening people?? You’re so mean!!”

He burst into scornful, insulting laughter. “That’s really how you sound, though! Oh well, this has been getting less and less fun, so,” He smiled, waving his fingers at the screen, “Toodles!!~”

Dream hit his desk again as the computer went back.

“Damnit!”


	12. Nightmare May Have Gloated Too Soon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nightmare gloats again, this time to kids. Error and Ink are gay.

The siblings got dragged directly to the “big boss” as he was called- Nightmare.

They were _terrified._

He loomed over them, smiling evilly.

“Um… hi?”

“Are we supposed to know who you are, mister?”

“I mean, I recognize him. Maybe from school events?”

Nightmare’s smile widened. The kids were definitely freaked out now.

The two looked at each other, realizing how much they’d fucked up.

“I suppose you wouldn’t. You didn’t know about your parents until sometime today, right? Their jobs, I mean.”

“Of course not. Our parents thought of our best interest. They wouldn’t tell us something that would put us in danger.”

“Come to think of it, Paperjam, haven’t they sort of _always_ been protecting us from this?”

At that, Nightmare scowled. He wasn’t expecting them to be that loyal, they were _Error’s_ kids. Maybe Nightmare just forgot what it was like to be loyal to his parents. Maybe Nightmare’s just a dick!

That sounds right.

“Are you _sure_ they were just doing that to keep you out of trouble? They could have been doing that to keep you in the dark.”

“Keep us in the dark so we’re safe!”

“Why you-“ Nightmare sighed, realizing they were probably _trying_ to get him riled up. They were. “They were lying to you.”

“No, they weren’t! And, if they were, they had a reason to! Maybe they just forgot to tell us.”

The two kids slowly realized they might’ve messed up. Nightmare started to glare more, eye(s) glinting in the dark room. Gradient grabbed onto PJ’s arm, sort of hiding behind them, hoping his older sibling would protect him. They did.

“Are you _sure?”_

The feeling of dread that the siblings held sunk in more, etching lines of fear in their minds.

Nightmare sighed again.

“Listen, you two. Your parents are in… a lot of trouble, to say the least. If you don’t help _me_ out, they might be in even _more_ trouble, **got it**?”

Paperjam and Gradient picked up on the threat. They both responded with, “Got it…”

“Good.”

 

 

Ink threw his shoe against one of the mirrors and screamed in anger. He _hated_ being trapped. He _hated_ every second in this room and every inch of it. Well, except Error. But that didn’t count!

“I hate this!”

“I know, Ink, I know. You’ve said that at least three times in the last ten minutes.”

“That doesn’t make it any less true!”

“I know.”

Ink sighed and went over to Error, who held his arms out for Ink. He threw his arms around Error, crying slightly. Error rubbed Ink’s back, hoping to calm him down.

“We’ve been through things like this before, Ink. I _promise_ you, we’ll get out okay. Our kids will be safe. We’ll be safe. _Everyone_ will be safe.”

“Damnit, Error, how are you so calm about this?!”

“I got my emotions out within the first ten minutes- I’ve crashed around 5 times.”

“Oh…”

“Yeah.”

Ink wrapped his arms around his husband tighter, hoping to hug the negative emotions out. Error started to glitch more, sort of gasping for air.

“Too tight, Ink, let go-“

Ink realized what he was (accidentally) doing, and let go, backing up a bit. “Shit, shit- I’m sorry, I-“

“No, Ink, it’s okay. You just wanted to help. You had no malicious intent.”

“Damnit, why are you so nice to me all the time?!”

Error snorted. “Because you’re my husband and I love you? Why else?”

“Ugh. Why’d I marry someone so _sickly_ sweet?”

“Because you love me?”

“True. But that’s gay!”

“Fuck, really? God, Ink, I can’t believe this! We’ve been gay for years and you never bothered to tell me?! How could you?”

Ink laughed. The lovebirds kissed. Error pulled away, also laughing, looking into his husband’s eyes lovingly.

“I love you.”

“I love you too, you glitchy nerd.”

Ink dragged Error’s hand to his cheek, smiling at him. Error laughed gently.

“Alright, dumb nerd number one, are you calm now?”

“Yep!”

“Do you want to help me figure a way out of here?”

“That would be a good idea!”


	13. Ink, That's Gay.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dream's gay, Ink's gay, Error's gay, and the kids' lives are threatened.  
> Also, Dust ruins Nightmare's lifelong plan because he hates kids.

Dream was having a fit. He was trying to re-contact Nightmare, but he wouldn’t pick up.  
“Goddamnit!”

Dream paced around his office, trying to figure out a way to talk to Nightmare again. His mind swam.

Why would Nightmare drag _kids_ into this?

How did those two get captured?

What the hell were the kids doing?

There was a polite knock on the door.

“Yes, yes, come in.”

It was Pale. Dream’s favorite. That’s something he would never admit to.

“Are you okay?”

“Of course I’m not okay!” Dream slammed his head onto the desk. “Ink and Error are in danger- we can’t find their kids, and _Nightmare_ just called me for the first time in _years_!”

“Oh.”

“It’s bad! It’s really, really bad!! He claims to have the kids and both Ink and Error. We know where they _supposedly_ are, but we can’t get in! Nightmare isn’t answering my _goddamn calls_ , and everything is going wrong!! I shouldn’t have called them out to work- I _knew_ they were gonna have a family outing but no! I _had_ to risk their lives _today_.”

Pale didn’t say anything. He went up to his boss and placed a hand on his shoulder.

Dream sighed and looked up at Pale.

“It’s going to be fine, right?”

Pale nodded.

“Right. I have to be _levelheaded._ I have to be calm about this. I can handle this.”

Pale nodded, with a very slight, almost invisible smile.

“Thank you, Pale. I think I know what to do!”

  
The two kids were pulled along by their arms again.

“Ow- we can _walk_ , you know!”

“Let us go!!”

“Shut up, both of you.”

The man pulling Gradient and Paperjam along was particularly scary. He was a big, towering man, who had frightening eyes. Somehow, both of the two kids managed to _still talk back._ According to Nightmare, his name was Dust.

He really didn’t like children.

“Or what?!”

“Or I’ll _stab your eyes out_.”

“Are you _really_ threatening _children’s eyes?!”_

“Yeah, mister, how _low_ do you have to go to threaten _children_?!”

The man growled.

“Both of you, quiet, or I’ll throw you to the snakes.”

“You have snakes?! Cool!”

“They’ll _bite_ your head off, kid, and if _that_ doesn’t kill you, they’ll poison you and you’ll die from _that_.”

“Ok, but what color are the snakes?!”

“That doesn’t _matter, Gradient.”_

“Yes it _does_ , Paperjam!”

“No, it doesn’t.”

“ _Shut your fucking mouths._ I can’t believe _I_ have to fucking deal with _children_.”

The two children, finally, decided to shut their mouths, knowing that if they didn’t, they’d probably get killed.

Or, worse, get their parents killed.

 

Their parents were still stuck in the cursed room.

Ink was on the verge of breaking one of the mirrors. Or all of them.

He let out another scream.

“Damnit- Why the fuck are we still _in_ here?! I swear to **fuck** I’m going to _break everything including some of my own bones._ ”

“Ink, calm down. Please don’t break your own bones.”

“If he keeps us in here for five more fucking hours I _will_.”

“Babe- Ink, it’s not worth it. If you’re gonna break anyone’s bones, break Nightmare’s.”

“That’s… actually not half bad of an idea.”

“Thank you.”

“But I’m still gonna break my own bones.”

“Ink.”

“What?!”

Error, not saying a word, walked over and wrapped his arms around his husband.

“I know you’re nervous. I am too. I’m scared, Ink. I’m scared for you and our kids- Nightmare can do whatever the _hell_ he wants to me, but if he hurts you or Pj or Gradient, I’ll… I’ll kill him.”

“Error, please.” Ink hugged Error back. “If he even _tries_ to hurt you or our kids, I’ll kill him first.”

“In your dreams.”

“I’m not going to argue with you on who gets to kill our boss’s brother. Wouldn’t torture be better?”

Error rolled his eyes and ruffled Ink’s hair. “You realize there are microphones, right?”

“Oh, right!”

“Also, what happened to finding a way out?”

“Well, my logic is, if they come through that door, we can always beat them up, right? And escape that way?”

“Right. Sure we don’t need another plan?”

“Absolutely!”

“Can you _please_ repeat our conversation back to yourself in your head?”

Ink took a second to do so.

“Error, that’s kinda gay.”

Error’s face somehow ended up in his hands again.

“Wait, what did I do?”

“Ink.”

“What?!”

“ _Ink_.”

“Wait… oh.”

Error sat down with his face in his hands.

“ _Ohhh…_ ”

“Ink…”

“It makes sense now!!”

“Ink, babe, my sun and sky, my star, I love you with all my heart. But why are you such a _dumbass_ sometimes?”

“I’m sorry, my fabulousness usually cancels it out. And I now see that you’re about to fall on the floor sobbing because I said that.”

Error fell forward and Ink ran over to catch him. Error landed on his lap, staring up at him. He put a hand on Ink’s cheek.

“My star, I love you with _all_ my heart- you mean more than the world to me. I love you.”

“I love you, too, my dumb nerd of a husband.”

“Actually, _you_ are _my_ dumb nerd of a husband.”

“You are _wrong_ , but go off I guess!”

As Ink said that, the door was bust down and two small people were thrown in. The door was slammed shut and several locks clicked.

The two looked up when the dads looked over.

“Holy shit- Dad? Pops?”

Paperjam stared as their brother got up, grabbed their hand, and ran over together.

Ink and Error, still in shock, blinked as their kids tackled them in a hug.

“Kids…?”

Error, almost instantly after processing, pulled the two kids closer, trying to check them over for any injuries worryingly.

“Kids! Are you two okay?!”

Ink pulled the other three in for a hug. Almost breathlessly, he cried, “Did you two really _sneak into a huge villains’ hideout, by yourselves, without any tools or weapons?!”_

“Uh, maybe?”

“Oh my god, Ink, I think we didn’t raise our kids well.”

“Wow, really, Dad? Your kids chase after you when you literally _get captured_ by the worst enemy you’ve ever faced off against and you call that _bad parenting_?”

“Yes, Paperjam, you two basically _threw yourselves_ into a fucking _torture chamber._ Your sarcasm is not appreciated.”

“My god, you two, stop fighting. Also, Error, don’t swear in front of our kids. Paperjam, stop swearing, you’re like three.”

“What? You’re allowed to swear!!”

“That’s because _I’m_ like three hundred.”

“It’s true, kids, he’s _old._ ”

“Error, you’re older.”

“I know, my star. I may be older but you’re cuter.”

“Wrong!! _You’re_ cuter.”

Gradient and Paperjam had suddenly changed expressions to the same “ew gross” face that _every_ kid got when their parents were flirting.

Ink pulled Error into a kiss.

“Ew.”

“Gross, Pops.”

“Gotta admit, Ink, that was gross.”

“Oh, shut up, all of you!”

 


	14. Flashing Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They (try) to escape, and someone's actions at PTA parties and things start to make more sense.

“Paperjam, where in the _hell_ did you learn to _pick locks?!”_

Error was going insane because of his kids.

“Error, honey, stop swearing in front of them.”

“Blue taught us how to throw knives, Dad!”

“He _what.”_

“Gradient, we weren’t supposed to tell him that.”

“Nope, both of you are telling me what happened.”

“Can it wait until _after_ we’re out of here, Mister Light-of-my-life?”

“No, Ink, it can’t!! Our kids know how to _throw knives!”_

“That’s a skill all kids should have! Along with picking locks.”

“Pops, does that mean _you_ can pick locks?”

“No, I can’t, Gradient. Sadly. Error can!”

“Wait, then how come he’s lecturing me for this? And how come he’s not helping?”

“He’s having a panic attack because you two threw yourselves- sorry wait, no, he’s having a panic attack because you’re acting too much like me!”

“Dad, is that true?”

“Yes.”

“Fuck!”

Both Ink and Error, hearing Paperjam say this, yelled, “Paperjam!”

Ink followed it up with, “Watch your fucking language!”

“Sorry. The bobby pin broke.”

“That’s not an excuse- How do you _break_ a bobby pin?”

“Ink, you say that like every time you try to do my hair you _don’t_ break four.”

“Wait, I do?”

“Yes. Every single time.”

“Oh. I forgot.”

Error kissed his husband’s cheek. “It’s fine.”

“Gross.”

“Oh, by the way, you’re both grounded for life.”

“What?! I’m getting us out of here!”

“You wouldn’t be here if you hadn’t thrown yourselves into danger!”

“Oh come _on,_ Dad, you could’ve died if it weren’t for us!”

“We might die anyway, you’re grounded!”

“Dad!”

“Ink, a little help here?”

“Kids, listen to your dad. You’re grounded.”

“But _Pops_ -“

“Don’t try to guilt trip me, Paperjam, I know that tone. I’m the _master_ of that tone.”

“Fine. I got the door open! Does that lift the punishment at all?”

“We’ll see when we get out.”

 

While trying to get out, Error was the most careful. If it had just been him and Ink, sure, he would’ve been less attentive and would’ve taken more risks.

But now that the kids were here, he knew that he’d have to kick someone’s ass once he got back. He also knew it would be a bad idea to do stupid shit in front of their kids.

Ink, as _usual_ , wasn’t being careful in the slightest. On three different occasions, Error had to pull him back from going right on ahead when there were guards around.

Paperjam was actually pretty useful. They helped their dad pull Ink back from danger, they helped slip up the guards, and more. They were more helpful than Ink was being.

Gradient was also being more helpful than Ink! That wasn’t saying much. He broke open a couple of the locks his sibling couldn’t- the more technological locks.

They were surprisingly easy too open.

 

When they got to the front, Gradient got stopped from running ahead by PJ.

“Wait, doesn’t this seem too easy?”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know, but still, I feel like we shouldn’t leave yet.”

“Oh god, are you having one of my patented ‘I Have To Do Good’ moments?”

“What?”

“Ink has moments where he just _has_ to go back and do something. If he doesn’t, he won’t sleep for a week.”

Ink’s eyes sparkled as he grabbed Paperjam for a hug.

“You really are my kid, oh my god I’m so proud!”

“Pops now is not the time- I just feel like we _have_ to go back!”

“And kick Nightmare’s ass?”

“Yes.”

“Oh my god, it’s like looking in a mirror!”

“Ink, no. We are _not_ going back.”

“But!”

“Nope. Let’s go. How are we getting out, there are more guards, right?”

Error checked around the corner, trying to decide how to get out.

This, however, was not the right choice.

“Uh, Error?”

Error looked back to Ink.

Nightmare was standing in front of them, crossing his arms and smirking.

 

_Ink had already drunk at least one full glass of wine._

_“Do we have to hold the PTA party thing_ **_here_ ** _of all places? Why not Linda’s house?”_

_“I’m not going to babysit you.”_

_“Fine, don’t!”_

_“No more wine._

_“What, babe, wait-“_

_Error took the wine bottle away from Ink as he was trying to open it._

_“Ink, no. If I have to, I will make you watch the kids.”_

_“Dad, he’d be horrible at that!”_

_“Yeah, Dad, you should just leave us alone!”_

_“On second thought, all three of you can and would burn the house down. So that plan is out.”_

_“What, no!”_

_“Burning the house down sounds fun!”_

_Error sighed, getting tired of his husband’s oddities._

_“Ink, no fire.”_

_“But glitchy-“_

_“No! Kids, can you please watch your other dad so he doesn’t kill anyone?”_

_“No promises.”_

_“Pops, do you wanna learn how to do digital art?”_

_Ink had a look of pure horror, his eyes going wide, going pale as a sheet of paper, as he turned to his son, uttering “no”, before looking back to his husband with a smile, his face warming._

_Gradient burst out into laughter at his pops’s expression._

_“Ink, please, I just want this to go well for once.”_

_“So you can show up Linda, Karen, and their four crotch goblins, along with their salty fucking lemon bars?”_

_“Yes. Also, please stop swearing in front of the kids, they’re gonna start swearing too._

_“Oh, shit, sorry. Why’d we join the PTA again, I dislike this strongly.”_

_“You made us do this.”_

_“Fuck, did I? Why does anyone let me make decisions.”_

_“Ink.”_

 

_The first ones to show up were Dream and Palette._

_Then Linda and Karen showed up, along with their salty lemon bars. Luckily, they’d left the kids at home._

_The last to show up was Nightmare._

_When that happened, Palette, Paperjam, Gradient and a couple of the other kids were in the other room, absolutely losing their minds over memes they were airdropping each other. The rest of the kids were just sort of staring at them, sort of in shock._

_Nightmare, obviously, wasn’t very well liked in the PTA. Especially by Error and Ink._

_Ink was glaring at him the whole night. Almost every time Nightmare walked over, Ink took another sip of his wine that Error (begrudgingly) let him have, and walked over to his husband again._

_Error, each time without fail, wrapped an arm around Ink, even if they were both talking to someone._

_Ink, in response, smiled up at him softly, each time without fail._

_Their kids noticed and made fun of them for it afterward._

_“You two really seem to hate Dr. Darkness.”_

_“God, his last name is_ **_Darkness_ ** _? How fucking pretentious. Also, he’s not a doctor. Don’t call him that.”_

_“His son told us he was a doctor.”_

_“Well, his son’s a son of a bitch.”_

_“Ink, how many glasses of wine have you had?”_

_Ink, while sipping his 5th glass of wine, lied, “only two.”_

_“I think you should go lie down, Mister two-glasses-of-wine-gets-me-drunk.”_

_“That’s a terrible insult, Dad.”_

_“Oh my god, Error, we’re dads.”_

_“Oh my god, Pops, we exist!”_

_“Holy shit you do?”_

_“Okay, yep, I’m getting him to bed before you two make him lose his mind.”_

_“Bed? You mean sleep?”_

_“Yes, Ink, you’re going to go to sleep.”_

_“Dad, you should carry him!”_

_“Yes, Error, carry me!”_

_“Wait, no, Ink, don’t do this, don’t-“_

_Error couldn’t finish his sentence before Ink jumped into his arms, laughing._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before you ask: Linda and Karen are lesbians. They're married.


	15. Sad Times and Nightmare's Confusion.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We flashback to the first calm week Ink and Error had together, and then Nightmare gets confused.

_Error, kinda drunk at the time, was being tucked into the half-made, makeshift bed he was using. His words were slurred, his cheeks were flushed, the whole shebang._

_On top of all this, he was crying._

_“I’m sorry.”_

_“No, no, Error, it’s fine. It’s not your fault. It was_ **_never_ ** _your fault.”_

_“I fell into his trap!”_

_“Who wouldn’t have? I would have. Almost everyone I know would. Error, you were too young to make any choices about this.”_

_“But once I_ was _old enough, I didn’t stop.”_

_“You were raised to believe that what you did was right.”_

_Error continued to sob while Ink brushed his hair back from his face._

_“Shh, it’s okay.”_

_Error looked up at Ink, tears in his eyes._

_“It’s not your fault. It will never be your fault. You were tricked. You were young.”_

_Ink started to tear up a bit as well, seeing this helpless, sad man cry. The guy who_ used _to fight him so valiantly. He used to have so much spirit and life, but now he just looked… broken._

_Error, seeing Ink cry over, of all people or things,_ him, _cried more._

_“Hey, hey, calm down, Error. You’re safe. You don’t have to deal with Nightmare ever again.”_

_“Y-you promise?”_

_“I promise. As long as I’m alive, I’ll protect you, okay?”_

_“Ink?”_

_“Yeah, Error?”_

_“I think I’m in love with you.”_

_“You think?”_

_Error nodded._

_“Well, do you wanna talk about it more in the morning? I think you need some sleep, pal. You seem too tired to think straight.”_

_“Yeah.”_

_“Alright. Goodnight, Error.”_

_“G-night…”_

 

_Ink stood in the doorway, watching Error fall asleep._

_As soon as his former enemy was asleep, Ink took out his phone. He dialed a number, sighing. He had to do it eventually, right?_

_“It’s so damn early, who is this?”_

_“It’s me, Dream.”_

_“Oh, hello, Ink! Why are you calling this late at night? Early in the morning? I dunno! What’s up?”_

_Ink took another breath, staring at the sleeping, broken person on his couch, not paying attention to the cheery tone. This was for him. To let him have a life. Ink shook a bit, trying to articulate what he was feeling._

_“Dream, I… I can’t do it.”_

_“Do what?”_

_“I can’t kill Error. Give him another chance, please! He’s just so… broken.”_

_“Ink, are you suggesting we give Error another chance to kill you?”_

_“Yes. But I know he won’t!”_

_“…Why? Didn’t he try to kill you? Didn’t he almost succeed?! Why on_ **_earth_ ** _would you give that maniac another chance?!”_

_“You should see him when he’s off the job, Dream. He’s so… broken. Don’t you feel like we should be helping him?! We’re the good guys, aren’t we?!”_

_“Ink, think very carefully about what you’re doing- I’m coming over! Are you drunk?! You can’t seriously be thinking about taking mercy on him, right? He’s tried to kill- and killed! So many people!”_

_“It wasn’t his fault. You_ know _what Nightmare’s like. He still has some good in him, Dream!”_

_“I’m coming over.”_

_“No, don’t!”_

_“Give me ONE good reason why I shouldn’t!”_

_“I, uh-“_

_“Wait. Do you have Error with you?”_

_“Mmmmmmaybe.”_

_“Damnit, Ink! Why did you do that?”_

_“He was hurt and broken, Dream! He fucking came to_ **_me_ ** _. He could barely speak!”_

_“How many days has he been with you, Ink?”_

_“I…”_

_“How many?!”_

_“Four.”_

_“And you HAVEN’T CONSIDERED to call me until NOW?!”_

_“I knew you were gonna react like this!”_

_“Fine. Whatever. I’m dealing with you and whatever the hell this is in the morning.”_

_Dream hung up._

_Ink looked at his phone, guiltily, then looked back at Error._

_“I promise I’ll protect you, Error.”_

 

 

Ink stood with his two kids in front of him and his husband. Both of them had one arm wrapped around their kids and the other holding the other’s hand.

“This is very cliche of you, Nightmare.”

“Is it? I didn’t care to notice.”

Nightmare was sitting at his desk, crossing his arms. He looked bored.

Error’s grip on Ink’s hand tightened, trying to warn him to not insult Nightmare.

Ink’s grip tightened back, but he took the warning the wrong way.

He took it as a “go ahead” instead of a “wait, no”.

“Y’know, you kinda look like an edgy teen. Act like one, too. You’re so immature.”

Nightmare glared.

“Ink, honey,” Error started, trying to get Ink to stop.

“What? I’m right, aren’t I?”

“Ink, please.”

“He’s not very good at being a villain!”

“ _Ink_.”

“I mean, really, do you even try?”

“ _Ink, please_.”

“You look like your fursona would be an ugly octopus.”

“ _Honey.”_

“You sound like you’re still on 4chan.”

Error was getting desperate. Their kids had their faces in their hands. They realized just how much Ink was fucking up. Nightmare was getting more and more angry.

Error decided to let go of Ink’s hand and pulled him by the collar of his shirt into a kiss. He let go of him, giving Ink a distraught look before looking back to Nightmare.

“I’m sorry about him, he, uh, gets a little ahead of himself.”

“I see.”

Nightmare’s stare was blank. Although it was _obvious_ he was furious, _this_ was more terrifying than him showing his anger.

“Error, you and your family?”

Error’s blood chilled.

“You’re on thin ice. You know that, right? One wrong move and I _will_ kill you.”

Error glared back.

“ _Don’t. Threaten. My. Family._ ”

Error’s words were filled with as much ice as his blood was.

“What are you gonna do about it, _traitor?_ ”

Error growled quietly.

“Nothing. You can do _nothing_. Just like you did when you were still on the _right_ side.”

Ink burst out, ready to kick Nightmare’s ass right there.

“Nightmare, shut your fucking mouth!”

Nightmare blinked.

“I hate people like you! You think you can just, fucking, _break_ a person mentally and then they’ll come running back when you threaten them?!”

Nightmare blinked again. He seemed to be confused.

“Are you just in this fucking circle of ‘I’m always right’? Can you get your head out of your ass and try to see what you’re doing?! For fuck’s sake, you broke _Dream._ You broke your own brother! You _wonder_ why you’re so fucking alone all the time while you continuously try to _murder_ everyone who’s close to you!”

While Ink was ranting and pointing in Nightmare’s face, who seemed to be shocked that _anyone_ would speak to him that way, Gradient and Paperjam were doing their thing.

Error noticed and tried to hide them a bit more.

They both looked up and smiled.

“And… done!”

Gradient finished his hacking shenanigans, showing his dad what he did.

“Holy shit, kiddo. You made this code?”

“Yep! We might wanna run now, because if we don’t, we’re probably gonna get trapped by the failsafe.”

“Failsafe? Oh, I know what that is! Yep, let's run!"

“Wait, I never got to finish my thing!”

“Can you finish it while I grab Ink and run?”

“Maybe.”

“What about after?”

“Yep!”

“Okay, cool, can you put it in your pocket?”

Paperjam nodded and put their project away as Error grabbed Ink by the collar of his shirt, the kids already running, and picked him up in his arms.

Ink gave Nightmare a stupid, smug salute as he was being carried away.

“See you in court, asshole!”

Nightmare blinked, still in shock, as the lovebirds and their kids ran away.


	16. The First Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time for even more flashbacks.

Ink came home to his huge mess of an apartment. He sighed, dropping his things on the kitchen table. He flopped onto the couch, thinking about the day. He went to work, helped on a few assignments, and made sure Blue’s design was okay. He hadn’t really gotten any huge jobs recently, had he? Ever since Error appeared, Dream didn’t want Ink out in the field that often.

It was dark. He turned on the light, looking around.

“I really should clean more, shouldn’t I?”

“You should, yeah.”

Ink, very quickly, grabbed his gun and pointed it at the person who had spoken. A tall(er than Ink, not saying much), dark man held up his hands, panicking.

Error.

Ink _freaked_ and cocked the gun.

“Wait, wait! I, uh, come in peace!”

“You tried to _KILL ME. MULTIPLE_ times!!”

“I know, I’m sorry! Hang on, why am _I_ apologizing? You tried to kill me too!”

“You tried first!”

“I was ordered to!”

“That doesn’t matter- you still almost fucking killed me!”

Error put down his hands, and his head dropped. It was like he had gotten hit with the guilt of his actions over the past years.

“You’re right.”

“Of _course_ I’m right! Wait, what?”

“You’re right. I’m sorry. That doesn’t make up for trying to kill you, but… I regret it.”

Sudden, uncontrollable tears flooded Error’s face. He tried to cover his flushed cheeks. Tried to stop trying. Tried. Trying was all he was good for, wasn’t it? His vision went dark.

Ink stared. He nudged Error with his foot.

“Hey, dude, you okay?”

After a few seconds, something cold was splashed onto Error’s face. Ice water. He sat up, gasping for air.

“Are you done?!”

Error spat out some of the water, trying to regain his composure.

“What the fuck, Ink?!”

“You were freaking out on the _floor_ of my apartment, I’m not a _doctor!!”_

“You should at least _have the common sense_ to not throw a glass of freezing water on someone who’s panicking!! Who raised you, a pack of wild wolves?!”

“Ok, first off, you come into _my house_ and insult me like this?! You just fucking came in, _collapsed_ on my floor, and then insult me?! Who raised _you?!”_

“Very evil people!”

“…Oh.”

“That’s, ugh,” Error got up and covered his face again, “That’s what I came here to talk to you about.”

“So… you came to talk?”

“Yes.”

“Cool,” Ink uttered, tossing away the gun.

“Wasn’t that loaded…?”

“Nah. Anyway, what were you gonna tell me? Or talk about?”

Ink sat on the couch, crossing his legs and gesturing for Error to sit with him.

He did.

“Well, uh, you see, I quit.”

Ink sat up straighter and stared at Error in shock.

“What?!”

“I quit. Well, uh, ran away.”

“Holy shit, how?”

“They’re surprisingly okay with people sneaking away at night. I told them I was going on a mission or whatever.”

“But you just… snuck away?”

“I’m… I’m so done with them. I’m so done with being embarrassed. I never wanted to do their- _his_ bidding in the first place, but… I never got to do what I wanted.”

“You didn’t…?”

“Of course not. He’s a _dictator._ ”

“Oh, god.”

“Are you surprised…?”

“No, it’s not that, I just… You came to talk, and I just… pulled a gun out on you.”

“I shouldn’t have broken in. I scared you.”

“Yeah, you shouldn’t have.”

“I know. I just… didn’t want to stay outside.”

“You were scared, right? Wanna talk about _why_ you were scared?”

And so, they did. The two talked for a long time. Everything was spilled, including Ink’s own regrets.

“I never wanted to fight you, either,” Ink muttered.

“Really…?”

“No, not really. I think everyone on… _his_ side deserves another chance. I wanted to talk to you. Dream told me if I _tried_ to talk to you, I’d be killed,” Ink laughed. “And, for some reason, I believed him!”

“Are you serious?”

“Yeah, I guess we both have kinda mean bosses, huh? Well, maybe set-in-their-ways bosses is a better way to word that.”

“I’d never expect Dream to be… like _that._ ”

“Most people don’t. Anyway, how did you get into the whole thing with Nightmare in the first place?”

“Well, that’s… complicated.”

“I have time.”

“Fine. I guess you could say he adopted me.”

Ink raised an eyebrow. “Nightmare?”

“Yeah. I was a lost little kid, and he took me in.”

“Wow.”

“I was scared. And he saw that. So he took me in. He trained me. And… I guess you know the rest.”

“Yeah.”

Eventually, Error nodded off. Ink got off the couch, tossed a blanket over his enemy, and went to his own bed.

 

The smell of freshly cooked eggs wafted into Ink’s room.

Eggs? Ink hadn’t bought any eggs recently, had he? Why in the world was there eggs?

Oh, that’s right, Error came over.

Ink shot upright in his bed. Shit, what was Error doing? He got out of bed, and ran to the kitchen, almost tripping himself on several pieces of furniture.

Error was, indeed, cooking eggs. He was doing it silently, which was… kinda weird, in Ink’s opinion.

“You’re going to be late.”

“What?”

Error pointed to the clock, which read 8:30. Ink started at 9:00.

“Shit!”

Ink ran back to his room and pulled on some actual clothes. He then ran back to the kitchen, grabbing his stuff.

“I can’t believe I slept through my alarm, damnit!”

“You need to eat.”

“I’ll eat when I get there!”

“No, you won’t.”

“How do you know?”

“I was tasked to kill you for years- I know your schedule.”

“Okay, _creepy,_ ” Ink glared slightly at the intruder.

“Come on, eat. I know you won’t when you get there.”

“How do you know where I work and that I don’t eat there?”

“Followed you.”

“That’s _really_ creepy.”

“I also know, when you _don’t_ eat, you get loopy.”

“I’m guessing _that_ was part of a plan to kill me?”

“Yeah.”

“Great. Good to know I have a murderer in my house.”

“You tried to kill me too, Ink. Also, just eat.”

“I know. Why are you taking care of me?”

Error glanced at Ink, and then away. Ink stared.

“It’s… not obvious?”

Ink shook his head.

“If you die, there’s nobody else I can turn to.”

“Ha. Right. Good point.”

Ink, after being forced to eat the eggs so he could actually function, grabbed his bag, waved goodbye to Error, and ran off.

* * *

 

Blue was waiting for him in front of their office. He was waving, bright and happy as always.

“Hiya, Ink!”

“Hi, Blue!”

Ink tripped on the concrete. And fell.

Except, no, he didn’t. Blue caught his wrist, just narrowly getting Ink to avoid slamming his face into the ground. Ink got spun to stand up properly.

“Thank you.”

“Be more careful! You’re gonna knock out your teeth!”

“I know, I know. Hey, by the way, can I tell you something that you’re not allowed to tell Dream?”

“Oh god, what did you do?”

“You know, uh, Error, right?”

Blue went pale.

“Ink, you _didn’t._ ”

“I didn’t tell you what I did yet!”

“ _What did you do?_ ”

“I, uh, _may_ have let him stay over.”

“You… _what?_ Ink, oh god, what the fuck did you do?”

“HE broke in!”

“But _you_ let him stay?!”

“What was I supposed to do!? Let him be caught?!”

“Oh, this is bad. This is very, very bad!”

“I know, Blue, I know! But I couldn’t let Error be caught by Nightmare! He… he snuck out. He _quit._ ”

“What?!”

“I know, I know,” Ink continued, mocking Blue’s voice “You’re both _insane!_ ”

“You _are_ both insane!”

“I know, but, Blue, _promise_ me you won’t tell Dream! Or anyone else!! I just… I gotta keep him safe.”

“Why?!”

“I have my reasons! You don’t need to know!”

“I do!”

“No! You don’t! They’re personal!”  
Blue stared at Ink for a couple seconds. He processed. Then, his face twisted into an expression a smug cat would wear.

“Oh… I get it! You like him, don’t you?”

Ink’s face flushed with color, embarrassed. He stuttered out, “Wh… wait, uh, no! Dr- Blue, no! That’s not, um, that’s not what’s happening!”

“Oh, so that _is_ what’s happening!”

“Leave me alone! I don’t like him! I just wanted to save his fucking life.”

“ _Please_ , Ink, that’s not what happened! I bet you tried to kiss him, you big flirt!”

“What?! No! I would never!”

“Sure, and I would never teach children to throw knives.”

“Are trying to imply that you _would_ teach children how to throw knives?”

“So I was _right!_ You _did_ try to kiss him!”

“Blue, please don’t teach children how to throw knives??”

“That doesn’t mean I’m not right!”

“I’m… not moving past the fact that you implied that you would teach children how to throw knives.”

“Too bad! We’re moving past it!”

“Wait, no, Blue, I’m telling Dream that you said that!”

“If you do, I’ll tell him about you and your special little guest having an affair!”

“I never said that!”

“Maybe I’ll phrase it as gently as ‘Ink fucked his rival’!”

Ink got even more confused and embarrassed. He covered his face with his gloved hands.

“Blue, I’m gonna kick your ass.”

“I’ll tell Dream.”

“Are you gonna use this for blackmail?”

“Most definitely!”

"I hate you."

"I love you too, Ink!" 


	17. Flashbacks part... 2? 3? who knows at this point.

Ink came home to a dark and empty-looking apartment. Weird, wasn’t Error still there? He glanced around and quickly turned on the light, locking the door behind him.

“Error? Are you still here?”

Ink felt arms wrap around him. Ink’s scream caught in his throat as a hand slapped over his mouth.

He got hushed by a soft, deep voice. Error quelled Ink’s struggle, whispering, “Sh, it’s me.”

Ink fought just enough to get Error to release his mouth. “What the hell, Error??”

“Sorry, I thought you were someone else.”

“Who the fuck else would have a key to my apartment? Besides my parents, that is- would you fucking do that to my _parents_?!”

Error shook his head and sunk his face into Ink’s shoulder, muttering, “no.”

“Then why did you…” Ink’s voice faded as he felt his shoulder grow soaked with warm, salty tears. He froze, realizing how harsh he had been with Error. He quickly tried to correct himself, “shit, shit- wait, no, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean, uh, I didn’t mean to yell at your- you, Error! Please don’t cry, please, _please_ don’t cry!”

Error, on the other hand, tightened his grip on Ink as he spiraled deeper and deeper. His own pain from touching someone heightened. He muttered, over and over, “I’m sorry, I’m so, so sorry,” as he lost sight of the world and light. He was put right back into the first time he had been yelled at- the first time he had fucked up a mission.

The mission to kill Ink.

 

Error woke up on the couch. He quickly sat up aaaand slammed his head into Ink’s.

“Fuck- Ow!” Ink rubbed his forehead at the impact.

“Sorry!”

“Fuck, dude, holy _shit_ , how _solid_ is your fucking skull??”

“I’m really sorry!”

Ink groaned and fell, dramatically, onto the floor, holding his head. Error reached out to him, then flinched back. “I have to go to work, dude, holy _shit,_ what is Dream gonna fucking say when I show up with a giant fucking bruise on my head?”

“I’m really, really sorry.”

“No, no, it’s my fault, _Jesus, ow_. I shouldn’t have been standing over you like that.”

“Yeah…”

“Anyway, uh, I gotta go to work soon- will you be okay here? You sorta… broke last night.”

“Oh, yeah, um… that’s… that’s what Nightmare calls- _called_ me ‘crashing’.”

“Really? It looked… it looked more like a panic attack. Or anxiety attack.”

Error shrugged.

“Well, I… I guess I’m sorry. I’m sorry for yelling at you. I should have taken into consideration what happened to you, and I should have thought more. I don’t need you to accept my apology or forgive me, but I’m truly, deeply sorry. Plus, you don’t like being touched, right?”

Error nodded.

“Aw, fuck, I’m really sorry!”

“It’s okay.”

Ink shook his head, “No, no, it’s not okay!”

“It is!”

“Accept my apology properly, damnit!!

“Fine, I accept your apology! You did something wrong, and you apologized, so it’s fine! Plus, you didn’t fucking know- let me accept your apology!”

“Fine!”

“Fine!”

 

The next day went fine. Ink came home to Error curled up on the couch.

However, he was curled up around a _kitten_.

Ink screeched.

Error jolted up.

“WHY IS THERE A CAT IN MY HOUSE?!” Ink jumped away to a chair, seemingly scared of the cat.

Error hugged the tiny kitten. “S…sorry, I, um, I, I saw him outside. And I just, uh, I couldn’t let him stay out there…”

Ink took a couple deep breaths and calmed down. “Okay, okay, Error? Error, I think I need to set up some ground rules.”

Error nodded, ashamed. “Okay…”

“I’m sorry for raising my voice. I know better. But I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t bring random animals into _my_ house.”

“okay.”

Ink walked over. He sat next to Error, who had his face buried in the cat’s fur. “Can I see it for a moment? I’ll let you keep it- but you have to let me take it to the vet. If it’s microchipped, we’re not keeping it. But it’s dirty. And I need _you_ to take care of it if we even _can_ keep it, okay?”

Error nodded. He gingerly handed the cat over to Ink, hesitantly.

“Thank you.” Ink checked the cat over. “He… looks fine. As long as he isn’t microchipped- or there isn’t anyone looking for him, you can keep him.”

Error nodded, tears flooding his eyes.

Ink sighed and passed the cat back over. He brushed away one of Error’s tears. “It’ll be okay. I promise I’ll try not to yell at you. If you want, you can yell back.”

The next day after work, Ink took the cat (and Error, dressed in some of Ink’s oversized clothes that he bought in hopes of growing into them) to the vet. Error clung to Ink’s hand like scrambled eggs to an unbuttered pan.

“You don’t have to hold me so tight. I’m not gonna run away.”

“I know.” Error tightened his grip.

“Ow, ow, ow- too tight, let go a little. It’ll be okay.”

Error loosened in his grip.

Ink put the cat’s carrier down on the floor and rubbed Error’s back. “It’ll be okay, I promise. I won’t let you get hurt.”

The cat ended up being not chipped.

On their way home, Error someone he recognized. He panicked and pulled Ink’s face close to his own. Ink’s cheeks flushed.

“Uh- Error?”

“I saw- uh, I saw Sh…Shattered…”

“Shit- did he see you?”

“I don’t- I think he didn’t?”

Ink thought quickly. “He wouldn’t expect to see you with me. Or. Do anything with me, right? According to them, you still hate me.”

“Right, so-“

Error got cut off by Ink covering his mouth with his own and turning him to face away from where he saw Shattered.

 

Error kept the tiny kitten around while he helped Ink clean up his house. Ink helped make him a proper “bed” on the couch- getting more pillows, a duvet, and a couple covers so the bed would be better.

The cat, who Error cleaned and fed, seemed to like it. Error named the cat {Redacted}, Dax for short.

Dax helped Error clean the house.

That night, before Error could properly go to bed, Dax slept on his bed.

Error, obviously, couldn’t move the cat off the bed. That’s illegal! He’d broken the laws enough. So he slept on the floor. That was the best way to solve the problem.

 

The next day, Dream was tapping his fingers on his desk, staring nervously at his computer screen. He rolled back his chair, spinning around to try to steady his thoughts.

He had to tell Ink his choice eventually, right? That Error wouldn’t be able to stay?

Dream slid his chair back into its spot beneath the desk. His hands glided onto his mouse and keyboard, and he switched the windows around, avoiding the one he had to look at.

He felt a cold hand slip onto his shoulder. The hand then moved to his neck, which made him jump, scolding, “Oh my god, _Pale,_ your hands are _freezing_! What the hell?”

“Ha.”

“Do you have a constant migraine? Are you _medically okay?_ Do you even pass the medical exams? Jesus!” Dream laughed, looking up to smile at Pale.

Pale stared blankly at the computer screen. He pointed, monotonously remarking, “Are you sure that’s the decision you want to make?”

Dream followed Pale’s point. Shit, did he leave that open?! Dream gently shook his head, sinking into himself back into his chair. He tapped his index fingers together, gazing at the screen. He let his breath go, muttering, “I don’t know. It’s the right choice, right?”

“Did you think that about me?”

Dream froze and glanced at Pale, sorta in shock. “What? No! Of course not! _You’re_ different! This guy, he’s just… just! Evil! _Irredeemable_!”

Pale said nothing more but looked at Dream with an ever so slightly disapproving stare.

“I know, I know! I should give him a chance! But what if he’s a double agent- what if he’s still working for Nightmare?”

Pale continued to stare, his eyes saying all the words he wouldn’t.

“ _You_ could have had the same questions asked about you. And

Ink trusts him! Nightmare’s a manipulative dick, so he really could be telling the truth.” Dream spun in the chair. “But what if he’s not?!”

Pale blinked slowly.

“Ink’s not that much of an idiot. He wouldn’t fall for something like this. Would he?”

More staring.

“Damnit, he would! He’s kind of… socially inept, if that’s a good way to put it. But… Error stopped trying to kill him. Maybe _his_ feelings are genuine?”

Even more staring.

Dream twirled his chair around again, thinking aloud, “But _if_ he’s lying, there’s no telling what he’ll do. Plus, Nightmare might blackmail him into working for _him_ again, but…” Dream’s head flunked into the desk, “Oh, Pale, why is this so hard?! I’m a _leader,_ decisions like this should be easy- but if I make the wrong one, Ink will… I dunno, Ink will be Ink!”

Pale rubbed Dream’s back, hoping to console him a little. “Make the choice you need to.”

“But what choice is the _needed_ choice?! One will make Ink angry beyond belief, he might _quit_ if he’s angry enough, and the other will _risk_ the safety of everyone in the organization! So _both_ risk something I _can’t_ risk. There’s no _good_ choice here!”

Pale nodded.

“I mean, I can either risk Ink being so mad at me he _switches sides-_ Hell, he’s already pissed! Or I can risk _Nightmare_ getting into our network!”

Pale focused on the screen, letting Dream ramble before he came to a closing on his own.

“There really isn’t any other choice, is there? I _have_ to let Ink help him. If I don’t, Ink’ll come in here and _beg me_ to let him stay.” He sighed, “I think I’m too empathetic for my own good- if he came in here, I’d break anyway.” He looked up at Pale. “You’re good at listening.”

“I’ve been told that.”


End file.
